Category: Child Sex Abuse

Your child is suffering from the horrific acts of child sex abuse committed by a priest in Chicago, a teacher in Glenview, a youth group advisor in Arlington Heights, or another trusted adult in the Chicago area. The damage has been done. You would like to go back and prevent your child from ever experiencing the physical and psychological pain of sexual abuse, but you know you can’t. Instead, you have to focus your efforts on your child’s recovery.

You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

But you do need to know where to get help. Every child and every family is different, but you should consider the following resources as you begin the difficult path to recovery:

• Pediatrician
• Child psychologist or counselor
• Friends
• Family members
• Research organizations
• Professional organizations
• Public awareness organizations

 

Additionally, you might find useful information in research journals and university courses. Publichealth.org provides links to many different types of organizations and journals that could be useful to parents of sexual abuse victims.

You may not need all of the resources listed above. What works for some parents of child sex abuse victims may not work for other parents. However, it is important to know about as many resources as possible so that you can find the help that you need for your child, for you, and for your entire family.

Have you found any organizations or support systems that were helpful to you or your child after a sexual abuse incident? Please leave a comment and share the information with other Chicago-area parents who may be facing similar ordeals. And if you have any questions about your child’s legal recovery, do not hesitate to contact our office directly.

The thought is horrifying. Someone whom you trusted to work at your business and to be around children is committing child sex abuse. As an employer, it is important that you know exactly what to do to protect the children who may be hurt, to prevent the employee from doing any further damage, and to protect yourself from potential liability.

What to Do Right Now

If you think a child is currently being abused or is in imminent danger of being abused, call 911 immediately. The police need to be notified right away, and they may need to come to your school in Chicago, daycare in Arlington Heights, or other Cook County business to provide immediate protection for the child, or children, who are being hurt.

If, however, you have reason to believe that a child has been abused but there is no immediate danger, you should:

• Contact the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS)
• Call the parents of the child or children who may have been abused

 

Additionally, you should begin your own internal investigation. However, it is important that you also report the suspected incidents to the state. Doing your own internal investigation does not relieve you of that responsibility.

What If It Was Your Own Child?

What would you do if your own child was abused? The answer to that question should guide your actions. Additionally, you should know how to answer that question if a parent asks it of you. You could, for example, encourage a parent to watch our free videos and read our free articles for important information about how to help his child recover.

You are furious. You trusted your child with a soccer coach in Arlington Heights, a camp counselor in Chicago, or a youth advisor in Northbrook and that adult not only failed to keep your child safe, but that adult also actively hurt your child in a way that no child should be ever be hurt.

Be Careful of Your Actions

While you have every right to be angry, it is important that you don’t make this horrible situation worse. Specifically, it is important that you avoid:

• Violence. Do not physically assault the person who hurt your child.
• Making threats. Do not make threats or even talk directly to the person who hurt your child.
• Talking to the media. Do not talk to the media about what happened, about your child, or about the person who hurt your child.

 

Instead, don’t do anything without asking yourself this question: How is my action going to help my child?

What You Can Do to Help Your Child

There are things that you can do to help your child recover from being sexually abused. You can talk to your child’s doctor, to a counselor, and to a lawyer about how to help your child recover. You can also make the person who did this pay without causing additional harm to your child. To find out more, please start a confidential and free online chat with us today. We also encourage you to subscribe to our monthly newsletter to stay up to date on important information for parents of child sex abuse victims.

None of the reasons schools, churches, youth groups, or other entities use to explain why they failed to report child sex abuse are good enough. None of them excuse the inaction of the adults we trusted to protect our children in Skokie, Northbrook, and other Chicago-area communities.

These Arguments Don’t Work

The supervisors at an entity may argue that:

• They tried to handle it internally. Illinois law is clear about who must report suspected child sex abuse and how to do it.
• They were concerned that, if word got out, it could harm their reputation. This is irrelevant. They had a responsibility to your child and a responsibility to report alleged child sex abuse in the state of Illinois.
• They didn’t know it was happening. The better question is whether they should have known it was happening. If they should have known that sexual abuse was occurring and decided to look the other way, they should be held accountable.

 

Any or all of these arguments may be true; yet, a child was still violated in an intimate and inexcusable way.

They Are Just Excuses

Instead, you can send the loud and clear message that these arguments are not good enough. Your child’s mental and physical health—his innocence and childhood—are worth more than these excuses.

If you know a parent whose child has been sexually abused, please share this blog post with him. Let him know that multiple parties may be responsible for what happened and that help is available for children who have been sexually abused.

The unthinkable has happened. An adult whom you trusted to care for your child has abused him in an intimate and cruel way. It wasn’t a stranger on the street who hurt your child, but rather a scout leader, a youth group advisor, or a team coach. As much as you’d like to turn back the clock and keep your child out of that adult’s care, you know that you can’t. Instead, your focus has to be on the future.

Your Focus Has to Be on Your Child’s Recovery

As you do everything in your power to help your child through this difficult time, you may have a nagging question in the back of our mind. You may wonder if a person can ever truly recover from childhood sexual abuse.

The American Psychological Association has identified several factors that are relevant to whether a child recovers from sexual abuse. Those factors include:

• The age of the child and the type of abuse suffered
• The relationship between the child and the abuser
• The child’s interpretation of the abuse
• Whether the child talks about the abuse to anyone
• How quickly the child reports the abuse
• The child’s family support, support outside the family, self-esteem, and spirituality
• Whether the child gets support through other means such as counseling, support groups, and books

 

It is important to consider all of the issues described above when deciding how best to help your child.

You are the Most Important Factor in Your Child’s Recovery

As the parent, you are the one who is going to determine whether your child gets the help that he needs to recover from sexual abuse. It may be one of the most important parenting jobs you ever do, but you don’t have to do it alone. Learn how we may be able to help you by watching our free videos and by starting an online chat with us today.

 

You can’t get the child out of your mind, yet there is nothing else that you can do. You learned about alleged child sex abuse at a church in Oak Lawn, a scout troop in Skokie, or a school in Berwyn, and you made the appropriate calls. You called the Illinois Department of Children & Family Services (DCFS) and you notified the parents of the alleged victim. The responsibility is no longer yours, but you can’t help wondering….

What Will Happen Now?

We can’t tell you what the parents of the child will do. Every family reacts differently to news of suspected sex abuse. However, the state of Illinois has specific procedures that it should follow when a call of suspected sex abuse is made. Specifically:

• A trained social worker should answer your call and make a professional determination about what to do next.
• A social worker may decide that a formal investigation should occur. This happens in about 25 percent of cases.
• A social worker may decide that the child and family can be connected with the right resources to prevent future abuse.

 

It is the responsibility of the state and of the family to keep the child safe once you make the call.

Do You Know Someone About to Make a Child Sex Abuse Report?

The reporter, and certainly the family of the child, may need support. Please share this blog post with that person and encourage him to watch our free videos to learn more about protecting children from the horrors of sex abuse.